Spanking is a very common theme in BDSM and many types of erotica. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve added some spanking into my erotica and erotic romance pieces. But why do women liked to be spanked? Well, there is no simple answer unfortunately, it is also not a truism that all women like to be spanked, although do a poor mans survey of a group of your female friends, and you’ll find that it is the majority (and if it’s not, it’s probably because they haven’t tried it yet, or they are lying.)
So what’s the deal? Why the fascination with spanking, and is there any logical/scientific reason for it? Ask a hundred and one women the reason, and you’ll probably get a hundred and one different answers. So let’s start with the facts: ‘the science’.
The Physiology of Spanking
Fact: The butt has a plethora of nerve endings, and those nerve endings are attached to the sacral S2 spinal nerve, and other nerves from the S2 spinal level serve your vagina too (unless you’re a man, in which case you have no vagina.) In other words, stimulate one, and you stimulate the other. This is not true of all nerves in the human body of course, but it is true of those at the S2 position.
As the female butt is very fleshy, it actually takes more effort to cause pain with a spanking than you might think, and if it’s not severe, well then, it’s just a sexual stimulant for some.
You will find a lot of women however who will disagree with this. It’s not that a scientific fact has suddenly become obsolete, it’s just they think or know another aspect (psychological) is more important to them. And for any woman who insists physiologically there is no connection between their butt/spanking and their vagina, simply ask them to get their man to put his hands down between their tight jeans and inside their panties and smooth his firm hand around their butt and see how long it takes before she gets wet. Physiology.
The Psychology of Spanking
The much more complex side of spanking is the psychological side, and here is where it frequently gets subjective depending on who you are speaking to. Some will tell you it’s the feeling of being dominated and controlled, and that it makes them feel sexy because the man then feels like he’s ‘a real man’, and that naturally (in their opinion) a woman is hardwired to be submissive and a man dominant (all feminist principles aside.)
Whether this is true or not, you’d be hard pushed to find any (successful) romantic novels where the man is weak. Which tells you something doesn’t it? Especially bearing in mind romance is a billion dollar industry. A man who is confident and in control is always sexy, or at least, for the majority of women in the world he is.
Bonobo’s, the primates closest to humans have been studied extensively, and they like a good spanking! It can be the prelude to sex, or just a punishment; but they certainly didn’t learn it from us. Evolution or psychology?
There are other women who say they find a good spanking cathartic, in other words, it psychologically makes them feel better again, perhaps making them feel that any wrong-doing they may have done has been ‘atoned for’. The slight problem though is that pain in the physical body releases endorphines, your bodies’ naturally occuring ‘happy drug’ and/or anaesthetic, which takes us back to square one again: physiology.
The Physiology and Psychology of Butt Spanking!
Why many women like to be spanked is therefore both physiological and psychological. The two cannot be separated. Your butt can’t be stimulated without your vagina also getting stimulated. The confusion arises because the nerves in the S2 have a kind of ‘cross talk’, which is a very different experience of pleasure/reaction than someone directly stimulating your clitoris.
The psychological aspect is frequently (although not exclusively so) based on evolution. As in, the more dominant the male, the more likely the genes were strong, and so therefore, the more likely the survival of a child fathered by that man (health and protection wise.) Over thousands of years evolution altered womens sense of attraction to select for this, as the offspring of the less dominant males didn’t survive as much. Evolution has a mind of its own, and women’s deepest fantasies and desires are proven time and time again in sales of romance, erotic romance and erotica.
In romance novels men are Dominant, confident, successful and/or alpha. If evolution had found that women having sex with men with extremely large heads led to a higher survival rate of offspring, then women would be attracted to men with extremely large heads, and you’d be reading romance novels that begin with love at first sight like this: ‘She saw him across the room, his eyes like flames, and a head so large it put all the other mens heads to shame’
Go Get Spanked!
What all of this means, I have no idea; all that really matters is many women do like being spanked (by someone they trust,) and many men do like dishing it out. Just roll with it is what I say. But never forget the spanking ‘safe word’: “Harder! Harder Harder!” 😀
Do you like to be spanked? Have you ever been spanked (as an adult)? Or, what do you think about spanking? tell us in the comments section below.